Maria Montessori objected to the use of the term “ whim ”. We have gotten into the bad habit of calling all the reactions of the child who does not submit to our will "caprices".
First, it is necessary to take a step back and not consider our relationship to the child as a power struggle.
For example, you would never force an adult to lie down if he is not tired. However, in many cases, the violent and painful reactions of the child are only the outward expression of an unsatisfied need.
The vagaries of sensitive periods reveal to us that an obstacle is impeding the child's natural learning process. So, instead of opposing the will of the child, it is better to try to understand and help him. It is not "giving in" to meet his needs, but giving him confidence in his environment.
So the child instantly calms down. We can also ensure that similar situations do not happen again.
Moreover, systematically repressing the child's complaints can cause “deviance” in the words of Maria Montessori (mental confusion, flight into the imagination, hyper excitement, etc.).
In addition, children's “fits” and crying are also the consequence of their inability to manage their emotions and take a step back until a certain age. Sometimes, when the visual and sound stimuli are too strong (as in a supermarket), an emotional overload is at the origin of the reactions considered capricious of the children. The role of the adult is then to calm him down and support him with kindness in managing his emotions.
Sources:
- Montessori: from birth to 3 years old, Charlotte Poussin, Eyrolles
- The child, Maria Montessori, Desclée de Brouwer
- https://decouvre-montessori.com/caprices-besoins-caches/